Things I Hate: A Partial List

• Waiting
• David Sedaris (his voice is annoying. He's twee and naff.)
• Terry Gross (I used to lover her but she got more dumb!)
• Dane Cook (that is obvious)
• Andy Borowitz (because he always tries to hit on whatever girlfriend I have at the time)
• How you can't cut and paste emails on the iPhone
• Asshole publicists (You know I'm writing the story so why not cooperate?)
• Taxes!
• People who Clip Their Toe or Fingernails on the Subway. It's not a public activity that.
• Ingrown Hairs (Unsightly and Painful)
• Cilantro (It's genetic!)
• Bright Eyes
• Genetics
• Dianetics
• Diegesis
• Exegesis
• Some of my ex's
• When men sign emails "xo"
• Verizon