Sunday, February 24, 2008

Sweatpants Are Not Acceptable Travel Wear

I'm in Kokomo, Indiana right now, visiting Papa Frank and Grandma Ellie. Kokomo is a failing industrial town and home to the world's largest sycamore tree stump and a dead stuffed bull. And my grandparents. Anyway, saw this girl in the airport (EWR, terminal C) yesterday. She was wearing sweatpants (more accurately "fashion conscious" sportswear) tucked in to her Ugg boots.

This informal aesthetic is rampant and wholly unacceptable, at least from my point of view. I understand wearing comfortable cotton trousers while traveling is appealing but sweatpants are the lowest rung on the ladder. They are an abomination before the eyes of the Lord and whoever is doomed to wait in line behind the sweatpant-wearer in the line for airport security, gazing fixedly but disconcertedly at the severe wedgie where the thin cotton nestles into the ample bottom. And there's such a perky insouciant sassiness to these girls who do these things like, "I dare you to say something about how slovenly I look! I'm so comfortable with myself and my privileged life that I need not wear anything but apparel fit for the living room of my parent's suburban split-level house."